Letters to Papa
by Dreamer1985
Summary: Tevye and Monique's daughter sits down and finally pens her thoughts and memories -in letter form to her Papa; even though he's passed away in an effort to heal from the loss. If you haven't read Lost Step2 you won't know who Monique or Dianna are
1. First letter

Letters to Papa

#1

Fiddler on the Roof Fan-Fiction

I do not own the rights to Fiddler on the Roof

Only to the character Dianna

_Dear Papa,_

_I miss you, why did you have to die? Couldn't you have waited? I still needed you. I was so mad at you for leaving without permission- like you really needed it. But that's not how I felt back then. I was furious at you and wanted to scream a the top of my lungs -actually did- up on that hill behind the house. It wasn't fair - you'd stood next to me on my wedding day and you'd held Tevanne in your arms a year later- you were suppose to live to see her first birthday._

_But being six feet under was probably better than you witnessing my marriage to Joshua crumble apart within six months of his daughter's birth. Oh, Papa, I know there are a lot of good people of your faith, honest I do, but Joshua wasn't one of them. He had us both fooled. _

_You said a real man would never hit his wife or step out on her. Well, Joshua did both. He slammed me up against the wall more than once I just never had the nerve to tell you - I thought for sure he was going to throw Tevanne too. One winter night I caught him with the neighbor's daughter. When he saw me he disappeared into the darkness with an ashamed look on his face. I'd had enough and filed for divorce. I guess he wasn't a real man._

_I ran home with Tevanne - straight into Momma's arms. I wanted yours, but you weren't there. We left Oregon because Momma and I couldn't run the place without you, but Papa I didn't sell my memories. Our memories. Believed it - or not- it was the glue that has kept me together when everything else feels like it's going crazy. _

_Once -when you thought I was asleep- you sat down by the side of my bed and began humming and then singing. Something about a Fiddler on the Roof. I remember your voice cracking and sounds of tears running down your face. Do you recall what you said?_

_Dianna, what do I give you? What traditions do I hand to you? What rooftop do I point out for you? I promised Momma if you were a girl she could raise you the way she wanted, so, what can an old Jew like me give you? _

_Papa. If you were here I'd tell you what you gave me. You gave me unconditional love. You gave me confidence, heart and an iron will. You taught me to look beyond what a man looks like on the outside and to be more concerned what was in the inside. You gave me a love for music and most of all - though , in the end, I did not align myself with Judaism, a great lover for my maker. The roof top you gave me was faith, hope and charity._

Dianna set the pen down and watched her daughter - now eight with hair that would have matched her mother's, but a face that shouted _Tevye's Granddaughter_- swinging and then down at her left hand where a small diamond ring was residing. Once again she began writing as she sat on the old home's aged steps.

_Remember when I wore your hat? The one Momma swore you'd had since Anatevka ? I used to sneak that hat and wear it while you were napping. I told myself you never saw, but you did. I know because one time I saw you open your eyes, smile, and then close your eyes without saying a word. My next birthday you gave me one just like it. Tevanne is now wearing it as she swings. I've had to mend its seams a few times, but it's still hanging in there._

_I also remember you working on that old red truck. I was amazed it stayed together for as rusty as it was. Momma wondered about me sticking my head under the hood with you I know, and you patiently explained the workings of the vehicle to me. I loved being by my Papa, even though we both knew those lessons may as well have been taught to a wall for as much of a mechanic as I turned out to be. But we also sang. I now sing in three different choirs._

_We sang while we did everything. Feeding the chickens, cows, horses, and even those stupid turkeys. Personally, I never did feel sorry for those things when Momma butchered them, they were so stupid. They'd have drowned in the rain with their mouths opened wide if Momma and I hadn't chased them under cover._

_My favorite time was just before bedtime on winter nights because then the fire would cast shadows on the wall and I get you all to myself on the couch while Momma finished up her chores and you'd sing some more, tell me stories, and or play shadow puppets on the wall. _

_I have to go now, Fredrick is picking me up soon. He's going to take Me, Tevanne and Momma home. You'd like him. He's a real man. Someone suggested he slap me to keep me in line and he came unglued - all over them not me! He treats Tevanne as one of his own and Papa? He has a beard and sings._


	2. middle letter

Letters to Papa

2

Fiddler on the Roof Fan-Fiction

I do not own the rights to Fiddler on the Roof

Only to the character Dianna

_I'm back Papa. Before we left Oregon I went and put flowers on Ruth's grave like You and Momma always did. As I stood there I remember in the summer evenings when your chores were done we'd wonder the hill picking flowers and you'd help me making Momma a bouquet to put in her white vase._

_The white vase was not an expensive item. In fact I think you bought it off a neighbor who was moving, but Momma treated it as if you'd spent a thousand dollars on it. Those flowers were just one of many small things you'd bring in for Momma. A lot of times she'd be at the kitchen sink washing dishes when you'd wrap your arms around her and whisper ' surprise'. She'd always smile as she wiped her hands off to hold what ever you'd brought in. I guess that's why I started bringing her things because I saw you doing it._

_Remember the sheep Papa? I mean Lady and Ed? You thought it silly to name them, but you only said that once. When I insisted on keeping their names you just shook your head. Anyhow those two sheep were the smartest animals I ever saw. I know people say sheep are stupid , and in some ways I suppose they are, but Lady knew how to get out no matter what you did. One time she got out while Momma was gone and I got her back in with grain, but you said you weren't going to put up with it anymore and hunted down the spot where she was getting out and had me stand in front of the hole until you got back with tools in which to fix it._

_I don't think Lady like the tools for when you were done Lady chewed you out for fixing the hole. Remember that? You had even let me help, so I guess she was giving both of us a piece of her mind. _

_Anyhow, do you recall when that old sheep poked around and found her escape route gone? She looked straight at you and let out a very loud baa baaaa and shot a glare our way? We couldn't help it Papa, we started laughing which only made that sheep baa louder. And Ed? He was a jumper from birth. _

_Guess you didn't like jumpers either; especially ones that only jumped the gate and only when you were gone. So, one time before you left for town you had me help you string barbed wire across the gate just as Ed was getting ready to jump. You said you needed help because your arms weren't as strong as they used to be. It was so funny when he saw the wire we were putting up. That crazy sheep's eyes bulged and when we were done? He stuck his tongue in and out of his mouth straight at us! That was another fit of laughter for us to have._

_Papa, the sheep is how I first met Fredrick. When you passed on, and after I'd told Joshua to take a hike, we sat down and decided to sell the sheep. Fredrick was still married at the time and he and his wife came and picked them up. They told Momma if she ever needed anything to give them a call. We thought that a nice offer on their part, but we moved and never expected to see him again._

_Moving to Washington seemed like a good idea, but the house we bought had no porch swing, or tree one either. That was another memory I'd kept and wanted to hand to your granddaughter, so , we had a porch swing made and hung a tire one in the front yard. I push her like you used to push me. I even sing as I do it. Mostly songs you sang, so I guess another tradition you handed me was handing down music to the next generation._

_Fredrick showed back up in our lives when his wife was killed in a car accident. He had business with a neighbor and our children started hanging around together. There's not near the age difference between us like you and Momma, but there's still a gap. I don't think you'd mind - it was one thing that never seemed to bother you. I always heard growing up that age was just a number._

_What is it about us and girls? Do we ever have any sons? Fredrick's three children are girls! We already decided if we have a boy he is not being handed everything simply on the sole basis he's the only son. These four girls give me sympathy for you and Goldie. Trying to raise the girls I think will be just as hard for us as for you when you lived in Russia. Our faith is not -normally- in the majority, and many strangers are throwing their ideas out our way. Truth be told we have some wolves with very sharp teeth among us too. _

_My mind keeps going back to that rooftop you talked about. Papa, seems to me we all have our own to walk and I don't think you are the only one to have ever fallen. I just hope if I fall, I can climb back up without being too hurt like the time you saved me from serious injury -possible death when I fell -literally - from our own housetop. Remember that?_

_Why I'd gotten it into my head to climb out my bedroom window and walk that ledge I have the foggiest, but I did. The idea of walking a rooftop fascinated me. Even though I didn't know you saw me I count my blessings over and over that you did. And that you followed the impression to drop everything and get down to the house. I was doing fine walking the thing but then my foot slipped and I fell. I thought for sure I was a goner as there was piping below and other things. One would have seriously hurt me and one been the death of me, but you caught me! Okay, it wasn't a perfect catch, my shoulder did get dislocated, but you catch me nonetheless. First, you took care of the shoulder and then you tanned my hide royal. _

_Papa, thank-you for all the times you caught me. _Dianna set the pen down -she'd write more after Tevanne went to bed.


	3. Final Letter

Letter to Papa

Final

Fan Fiction of Fiddler on the Roof

I do NOT own the copyrights to this show.

_Papa,_

_Sorry, it's been a long time since I've written. I meant to write after Tevanne went down for the night, but I found myself falling asleep too. I've been busy with wedding plans. I really do think you'd like Fredrick. I admit he's not Jewish, but his mother lived in France during the war and her parents hid your people in their attic. I'm not sure how many they helped get out of the country -they don't talk much about it- but I know it left scars because I could see them in his parent's eyes._

_Fredrick came to America after the war ended. To this day if someone even suggests another person should go away just because of their skin color, or religion, he orders them out of his house. And one time? When we were with friends who were Jews the owner told them they had to go. Fredrick started to stand and the man said he could stay because he wasn't Jewish. Well, I won't say what he said because Momma would wash my mouth out with soap if I slipped and said it out loud - and I don't care what that gal in school said -that stuff tastes horrible. I should know -Momma made me eat it once when certain words came out of my mouth. You said you'd have done worse when I complained to you. Anyhow, needless to say we left. _

_I guess I'm telling you all that because your eyes would grow sad whenever you heard of that kind of hatred. I wanted you to know Fredrick may not be of the Jewish community, but he would defend them to the death just as his parents risked their life to save many in Europe. _

_I' m wondering do you remember the night before we rushed you to the hospital? It was almost as if you knew what was going to happen because you turned on the radio and convinced Momma to leave the kitchen and you danced with her in the front room while singing in Russian. _

_Papa, you did a lot of good, but I wish you hadn't insisted on us speaking only English. I would have loved to know what you were singing to Momma. I have since learned the language, but I can't remember the words of that night. Maybe, someday, I'll hear -and recognize- the song._

_I also recall you teaching me to dance. I don't think Momma cared much for dancing. Oh, she'd dance with you at the house, but I don't remember her voluntarily going onto the dance floor at town socials. No, the older I got the more you and I would dance. You were good too. So much so, that by the time I was twelve we could turn heads. When someone suggested it was wrong it wasn't you that told the old busy-body off, it was Momma. She said we weren't doing any inappropriate dancing and she wasn't worried about you doing anything wrong. Said if you had she'd have made you an involuntary eunuch. The lady looked shocked when you told her -on the heels of Momma's remark- that you valued your manhood too much to mess with Momma's temper._

_You know Momma may have had a temper, but she never used it on us -not without just cause anyway. One time I remember her swinging a broom at you and chewing you out something fierce. I can't remember what she was hollering because I couldn't have been more than four, but , boy, was she ticked off. Whatever it was you did it must not have been repeated because I never saw her doing it again._

_I also remember you liked to chew out Bessie quite a bit. That old cow was a stubborn thing. You and Momma were always mending fixes because of her. I swear her hooves must have been fingers because I don't see how she could get out of the places you had to fix. _

_That blasted cow was the first one I tried milking and she wouldn't stop her bellowing. I don't think Momma cried when we ended up butchering her. Personally? I think she as happy because all she did was sing some made up silly song about the cow losing its ability to jump over the moon. Personally? I was convinced Momma had flipped her lid._

_I remember going with you and your friend Jordan fishing. Why you took him I don't know. That man squealed at the touch of a warm worse than I did and I was eight and a girl to boot. I sure liked it better when we went alone. And you know what? I think you did too._

_Fishing was the one thing Momma would do with us- if we were doing it a the pond on our own property. She really wasn't much one for going places was she? When you first told me what she'd done to get my cousins to Uncle Motel and Aunt Tzeitel it shocked me. I remember stating that is was my opinion she should leave our place more and would have said more, but you placed your finger on my lips and told me it wasn't my place to criticize my mother. That if she wanted to be a homebody that was fine by you._

_I guess I'd better wind this down, but Papa? I've only written a small portion of what I remember. I was fortunate I had an old Dad I think. Oh, not all my friends agreed, but we did all our chores together, worked in the garden, and spent plenty of late afternoons - early evenings singing and dancing. _

_One more thing, Papa? I've learned how to play the Fiddle. And I can do it while dancing on a roof -I did it in a community play._


End file.
